[ the decision to be apart was hard, but allison was convinced it would help her. them. their relationship and their livelihood and while it was some of those, it wasn't that easy. she couldn't bring herself to even think about dating anyone else. she convinced herself she just needed time to stand on her own, to adapt, but really she just couldn't imagine herself with anyone but scott. that was the truth, even if she ignored it, or didn't realize it, or was just in denial because she'd screwed everything up.
but as things do, they made a full circle. together, then apart, and now back together again, and with that time apart under her belt allison has found herself appreciating their time together even more. she can see the differences in scott - between when they were first together, and when they were apart. she can see how much he's changed, and grown, and while part of her aches because she knows she wasn't there for him, another part is mesmerized by how he can be so scott but also so different. she wants to relearn everything about him, wants to know if he still laughs at the same things or is still sensitive in the same places. the chance to start over without really starting over excites her. she wants to re-memorize what it takes to send him over the edge, but also re-learn how it feels to be totally and completely loved. to feel him wash over her and around her, and to know she's safe and loved and know it's the best feeling in the world.
scott has always been different. she remembers telling lydia how he wasn't just some high school crush, how it was different, and the gentility in his touch, the way he looks at her and she feels adored, she knows what she told lydia was right. he is different, and allison can't bring herself to stop smiling when he leans in close, her fingers on that expanse of skin between his bicep and his shoulder, her right one tracing the tattoo there. the bands. she wants to ask what they're for, because somehow she hasn't yet, but for now she just treasures them. treasures him, as their lips touch. the kiss is soft, sweet, and her smile doesn't seem to want to go away even through their kisses. she's just so happy, even with everything that's happened in her life. in their lives.
when she's alone, it's hard not to think about it, but with scott? her mind is filled with him. with him and only him and it's because of that she knows she can relax, she can love, and she can let herself be loved. fully. and maybe with the mistakes she's made, she doesn't deserve that, but when scott looks at her like that, she thinks maybe she does. ]
I am completely unable not to leave you happy things I'm sorry.
but as things do, they made a full circle. together, then apart, and now back together again, and with that time apart under her belt allison has found herself appreciating their time together even more. she can see the differences in scott - between when they were first together, and when they were apart. she can see how much he's changed, and grown, and while part of her aches because she knows she wasn't there for him, another part is mesmerized by how he can be so scott but also so different. she wants to relearn everything about him, wants to know if he still laughs at the same things or is still sensitive in the same places. the chance to start over without really starting over excites her. she wants to re-memorize what it takes to send him over the edge, but also re-learn how it feels to be totally and completely loved. to feel him wash over her and around her, and to know she's safe and loved and know it's the best feeling in the world.
scott has always been different. she remembers telling lydia how he wasn't just some high school crush, how it was different, and the gentility in his touch, the way he looks at her and she feels adored, she knows what she told lydia was right. he is different, and allison can't bring herself to stop smiling when he leans in close, her fingers on that expanse of skin between his bicep and his shoulder, her right one tracing the tattoo there. the bands. she wants to ask what they're for, because somehow she hasn't yet, but for now she just treasures them. treasures him, as their lips touch. the kiss is soft, sweet, and her smile doesn't seem to want to go away even through their kisses. she's just so happy, even with everything that's happened in her life. in their lives.
when she's alone, it's hard not to think about it, but with scott? her mind is filled with him. with him and only him and it's because of that she knows she can relax, she can love, and she can let herself be loved. fully. and maybe with the mistakes she's made, she doesn't deserve that, but when scott looks at her like that, she thinks maybe she does. ]